Comfort and Joy

The more popular Christmas carols these days tend to be the least explicitly Christian. ''Tis the season to be jolly', and 'We wish you a merry Christmas,' for example, celebrate the fun of Christmas, while avoiding reference to the message of spiritual comfort that is supposed to be the reason for the joy. It's party time, and that seems a good enough reason to be joyful.

An older carolling tradition brings 'tidings of comfort and joy', however; reminding us yearly that however sad, alarming or confused our lives may be, in the words of the Course we could see peace instead of this. We need not take the Gospel story of the Nativity literally to appreciate its moving promise of renewal and hope for happiness. A new kind of awareness has entered the world, a different reality has been affirmed, the possibility of spiritual awakening has been given us. Whatever particular misery or bafflement we suffer from, the birth of Christ represents a vision of release from it. These are the comfortable tidings that give us cause to celebrate. Christmas is the symbol of our own capacity for rebirth.

The comfort it offers, if we are open to it, arises from something already potential in us, from the eternal spark of truth within each of us. What we call the Christ is the only real and enduring part of us, which is why He can truly say 'Behold, I am always with you...'. The Christmas star, that in the story guides the wise men from the East to Bethlehem, is the image of a light shining in darkness, and the lesson is that if you will follow it, it will lead you out of despair.

This lovely old use of the word comfort means: be reassured, be at peace, let pain fade away, let your heart rest easy, there is no need to be afraid. This kind of comfort is not the physical and psychological comfort we associate with huge padded sofas, deep-pile carpets, cups of tea and money in the bank. Nor is it the sort of comfort that pats the underdog and dispenses praise and treats to make people (including yourself) feel better about themselves. All of these have their place, but none of them can give lasting comfort, and all of them undermine us in subtle ways even as they indulge us. The more we think that comfort means coddling the body and buttressing the personality, the more we forget to give the mind its only real and lasting comfort, which is to recognize that the truth is true, and everything beside it is not there.

It is fashionable to talk about needing to get out of our 'comfort zone'. The idea is that we feel safer within the small circle of what is familiar and under our control, but such security is an illusion, and only makes us more fearful. It is only when we do not allow our fears to rule us, but accept uncertainty and encounter the unknown that is both inside and outside us, that we grow beyond our self-imposed limitations.

For it is not a comfort zone that most of us live in, but a zone of perpetual anxiety, only offset by the distractions and evasions we can devise. Those who live in a true zone of comfort, of real peace of mind, are rare. So we should turn the question the other way around. How can you get into your comfort zone? What would be truly comforting to your state of mind?

What is called the 'miracle question' invites you to imagine this: suppose that a miracle occurs while you are sleeping, and that when you wake your particular problem, or all your problems together, have been solved. How would you know it had happened? What would it feel like? What would be different, in you and in the world you see?

The Course in Miracles trains your mind to experience just such a miracle, not overnight, because a sudden complete change in our perception of reality would be more devastating than comforting; but over time, by systematically replacing one set of ideas with another, gently releasing the mind from its compulsion to make problems for itself.

Here are some of the ideas the Course offers to comfort you, by changing your assumptions about the 'reality' we believe in:

- Everything you think or think you see that seems true, whether you love it or hate it, is only a construction of the mind. Appearances have no power to make you either happy or unhappy, beyond the power of your belief in them. The stoical equanimity of mind that this principle gives you is more comfortable than being tossed between emotional highs and lows and feeling a victim of what happens or of what might happen.

- There is no reason to be afraid of anything. The world you see is a construction in your mind and has no effect at all on your spiritual reality. Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God. You can be comfortable only to the degree that you are not afraid.

- You are not in competition with anyone. You do not have to 'be' anyone, you do not need to be right about anything, you do not need to 'make a difference' or prove or improve yourself. Nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth...Your worth is established by God. You do not even have to believe this to feel what relief such a thought brings with it.

- There is a part of your mind that never sleeps, is ever resourceful, undismayed by anything that seems to be happening, free of all the limitations that seem to burden you. To begin with it is usually easier to imagine this presence as other than yourself, since it is so unlike you as you experience yourself. The Course speaks of this presence as if it were an invisible companion, or as a particularly loving spirit guide; but ultimately it would have you recognize in this 'brother' your own reality and your true identity. The comforting thought of a gentle Other that is always with you eventually does away with the need for comfort of any kind, to be replaced by the experience of being a Oneness joined as one.

But long before most of us are ready for transcendence, such consolations of philosophy as the Course offers are continuously shouted down by all the inner and outer voices of fear and wrong advice. More immediately and simply, the Course reminds us that the mind will find comfort by giving comfort. If only out of curiosity and open-mindedness, it suggests you try thinking of the others in your life with appreciation, gratitude and trust. Whatever other gifts you give this Christmas, give these without reservation; not because it is good of you or because the other person deserves it, for neither of those is true; but because wholeheartedly giving brings wholeness to the heart. You have to want to give comfort to feel joy.

God rest you merry, gentle men and gentle women! Be comforting and comforted. The carols we sing reflect our times, but this message is timeless, free to give by anyone to anyone, this Christmas and any other day. Have a comfortable Christmas.