To be trusting is almost a
synonym for being gullible, in the world's parlance. It is like wishful
thinking; a limp and hazy hoping, rather than an inward resolution. We say 'I
trust you' to mean 'I am offloading the responsibility for my happiness on to
you, and if you disappoint me it will be your fault.' If I say 'I don't trust you,'
it means that you are unreliable, not that I am an uptight, grudging sort of
person.
But trust is a decision. When
you decide to trust another person, you make a commitment to your own integrity.
You are not asking anything from them, but choosing love over fear. You are
taking a stand for values that are alien to the world's defensive thinking. For
love without trust is impossible, and
doubt and trust cannot coexist (M7 4)
We tell ourselves that it is
wise to be wary. The world teaches us to look past 'good' appearances to search
for the 'bad' that is being kept secret from us. In turn, we keep secrets of
our own, for fear of exposing our vulnerability, or of giving someone else an
advantage over us, or of being seen for what we fear we really are and despised
for it. So we maintain barriers between us that keep us all incomplete, and
make us afraid of each other.
There is a distance you would keep apart from your
brother, and this space you perceive as time because you still believe you are
external to him. This makes trust impossible. And you cannot believe that trust
would settle every problem now. Thus do you think it safer to remain a little
careful and a little watchful of interests perceived as separate. From this
perception you cannot conceive of gaining what forgiveness offers now (T26 VIII 2).
The Course enables us to look
past all appearances, 'good' and
'bad' alike, to the unchanging reality beyond; towards the what is, beyond the what seems. Trust involves suspending judgement,
in the knowledge that we never know enough to judge anything or anyone without
prejudice. Without judgment are all men
brothers, for who is there who stands apart? Judgment destroys honesty and
shatters trust (M4 III)
What you look for, you will
find: this is a key principle of the Course's teaching. Trust is not about trusting the
other person to come up trumps after all, for it is certain that their ego (like yours) is
neither trustworthy nor loving. Trust is not about hoping that trust in God, or
karma, or time will sort out your difficulties for you; many people use the
idea of 'handing the problem over to the Holy Spirit' as an excuse to not face
up to their own lack of love and their own reluctance to decide anything. To
trust, in the Course's sense, is to trust the power of love itself to light up a
way through conflict and pain in your own
mind, where none seemed possible. To
decide to trust in your 'brothers' is to restore your own mind to peace and
remind you of what you value most.
True faithfulness...does not deviate. Being
consistent, it is wholly honest. Being unswerving, it is full of trust. Being
based on fearlessness, it is gentle. Being certain, it is joyous. And being
confident, it is tolerant (M4 IX 2)
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